when a river sits still

“When a jar of river water sits still, the law of gravity causes the sediment to eventually settle to the bottom so that the water becomes clear.”– Ruth Haley Barton

This line from Barton’s book Invitation to Solitude and Silence resonated with me richly.  

I had come to a point in life where everything felt clouded.  It was messy.  It was dusty. And I knew I needed to start creating space and time in my life to allow things to settle.  

As I read this line, I pictured myself as that jar of water and I was constantly on the move, constantly shaking and stirring up sediment in my life.  I never rested.  I was never still.  And hence, I was rarely at peace and couldn’t see where I was headed.  

And so I started to quit things.  

I started to settle.

I started to come home in the evenings rather than schedule something every night.

I spent more time in coffee shops with a stack of books and a latte.  

I allowed for space to not be rushed. 

To allow for a new clearness as the sediment settles to the floor.  

…and I’m there right now. In the settling. No drastic changes have been made.  But sweeping spaces have been cleared and in that, I know, transformations will come.