I Just Really Wanna Go Home for Christmas

Last year, I wrote an article that actually won an award titled I Don’t Want To Go Home For Christmas.  That’s a lot more catchy than wanting to go home.  But it’s always easier to want what you don’t have.

I love being home.  Being with my family.  Enjoying holidays together.  I just don’t like how much life hasn’t turned out how we thought… how we went from 5 of us to 6 when my sister got married and back to 5 after he tragically died of cancer.  Families are supposed to grow, not shrink.  And last year was also the first year without our grandmother, the last of our living grandparents.  She lived to 104 but somehow we weren’t able to give her a great-grandbaby.  

But alas, this past year has brought us a lot… a lot of everything.  A lot to think about.  A lot to contemplate and a lot to figure out.

And after our family Thanksgiving was canceled due to me not being able to get off of work and my dad testing positive for COVID, I’d want nothing more than to see my family for the holidays, and yet my dad continued testing positive to COVID causing us to postpone our Christmas plans as well.  

When I moved to Portland, Oregon, I never wanted to be that child who just leaves his hometown (Rockville, Indiana) and never comes back.  I wanted to stay active in my community and with my family and by and large, I have been able to.  But it’s been a year since I have been able to get back there.  

And the way things are looking, who knows how much longer it will be.  

I never took it for granted when I could get home for the holidays, but this year more than ever, I really just wish I could be home for Christmas.  

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Merry Christmas everyone!  May it be a safe and full in spirit holiday season for you no matter where you are or who you are with.