gospel of 33

When people hear the number, 33, they think of the movie 33, the temperature at which water boils, or where I’m from… you think about Larry Bird… swish.

I think about… Death.

Will Gray created music and film and communities.  And died at 33.  Because life is not fair.

Jesus Christ created…well, the world.  And He died at 33.  Because life is not fair.

I had a lot to live up to when I turned 33. 

Over the last few years, I’ve lost many of my most precious relationships.  Life can be cruel.  Life is cruel.  It certainly isn’t what it once was.  It’s like I ate the fruit and now my mind has been opened to see what I wish I never would have seen and to feel what I wish I never would have felt and to carry burdens I wish I did not carry. 

And I don’t pretend to carry more burdens than another.  In fact, I know I carry far less.  I spend time with orphans, with those who have suffered abuse, who have been through divorce, with those who have lost spouses, and those who have gone through things no human should go through. 

33 years and Jesus flipped the world upside down.  33 years, and Will created, loved, and breathed hope into other’s lives. 

I was always inspired by 33.  I wanted it to be a year that I overcame and that I created.  I was too inspired not too.  I targeted May 18, 2015 as a day everything would change. 

And now as 33 rests in the shadows, I reflect on what was created, and the struggles and vices that remain.  That in which I celebrate and that in which I desire to vanish and yet still haunts me.  The aspirations achieved and the wishes that remain unfulfilled. 

I’ll never forget 33. 

33, the age Jesus was crucified.

33, the age my beloved brother, Will, died.

33, has come to an end for me… and here I remain.  Because life is not fair.    

And I guess, for me, that’s good news.

Swish…