it was a long december

It was a long December. I went from a head cold to the flu to a virus to breaking out into hives.  

So for New Year’s Eve, after not being able to speak or swallow without severe pain for 4 days, I was by myself, at home, heading to bed before midnight.  

I wanted to at least read a Scripture and write down some goals so I pulled my Bible out and simply opened it and the first verse I read was from Job 19:26 “Even after my mortal skin is destroyed by death, yet from my immortal flesh I will see God.”

It was fitting.

The power in that for me is that my skin is dying.  I’ve now battled MRSA twice, multiple recent bouts with ringworm, and far too many episodes of Urticaria (Hives).

I’m not sure why all the skin issues, likely from my time in Africa and the reactions my body has had.

Every year I traveled to Africa, I knew there was a price.  Not just a cost but a price.  The price of serving in a place your body isn’t comfortable, the price of one’s own health for the betterment of another.  And I was ok with that.  Because the price of my own skin was worth the price of being able to serve alongside those I love.  

I’m still in pain. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain.  My relationship with the organization I served with in Africa ended months ago. And now I carry more than just physical ailments.  I carry the loss of dreams.  The loss of being with and serving with those I love.  

And I believe 2019 is now a year of restoration and healing… for me.  For my heart.  For my dreams.  And maybe even for my skin.  Yet we know, our mortal skin still will die.  It’s our immortal flesh where healing needs to come.  From the places within ourselves where we can hope and trust again. Where we can believe in what we can’t feel.  And where there is a restoration of a heart and of eyes that see the unseen.